Monday, February 18, 2008

Losing my manhood, one chick flick at a time

I knew that marriage would change my life but whoa…I think I’ve seen more chick-flicks in the past eight months than the last ten years combined. I can’t even begin to remember the last time I saw a good act of senseless violence on the silver screen.

Here's my rundown of the some of the flicks my bride has forced me to watch, I mean, invited me to enjoy with her:

Enchanted: This movie features a vivacious redhead who spontaneously bursts into song the moment inspiration strikes. In other words, I paid $11 to watch a movie about my wife.

In the ensuing weeks, I endured countless moments of scrutiny regarding whether or not any of my freely offered kisses were “the kiss of true love.”
Rating: one chainsaw

27 Dresses: A film about every wedding but my own. A major testosterone reducer. I could feel the estrogen rising in the movie theater as the film’s opening credits appeared on the screen. 27 hours too long.
Rating: one chainsaw

Pride and Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility: These are listed together because I can’t remember which one I slept through and which one I saw in its entiretly.
Rating: 2 chainsaws (I can’t give Jane just one chainsaw, poor Jane needs an extra one to sell so she can live off the proceeds until the right wealthy suitor comes along).

(Dear God, please spare me from having to sit through the BBC version).

Definitely, Maybe: Two hours of watching a recently divorced man tell his nine year old daughter the story of how he slept around with, I mean, dated three women and finally chose her Mom.
Rating: one chainsaw

Bridget Jones Diary: I can’t remember what it was about. Something about a woman who falls in love.
Rating: no chainsaws

How long ‘til the new Indiana Jones movie is released?


Deb said...

you made me chuckle when you said, "I paide $11 to watch a movie about my wife" in reference to red heads breaking out in song.

and I have to admit that I am a culprit of dragging my sig. other to some of the before mentioned movies...most recently Definitely, Maybe...He said he really liked it, though...

I don't think I will ever stop hearing of Indiana Jones...even after it is finally released.

J at said...

Maybe it's time for you to drag her to see a guy film? My husband drug me to see I am Legend and Cloverfield. Fun senseless stuff.

Starshine said...

Don't worry, J! He takes me to see his "man movies", too. He just didn't write about that...silly boy!

Sharon said...

Love the rating system!

Cherry said...

Suddenly the songs from Enchanted are filling my head.

I think we rent and go see more chick flix then we do any other genre. This is probably why Eric insists on watching such TV shows like "Fight Quest" and "Last Man Standing". Although there is some Anthropology in there, it's mainly all about the fighting.

I told Eric that I wouldn't make him see '27 Dresses', but I was hoping he'd accompany me to 'Definitely, Maybe'. From your review... perhaps I shouldn't push it.

C said...

LOL!!! I surfed in via your wife's blog. LOVE the movie reviews. You are hilarious! You and your wife sound like so much fun.

Your movie reviews sound strikingly similar to things my husband would say. I don't think he remembers what Bridget Jones' Diary was about either.

mrs. blogoway said...

I prescribe one viewing of "A History of Violence" to get your testosterone back to normal levels". LOL.

P.S. I'm not kidding, if you haven't seen it, you must. It has everything you could want in a movie... gratuitous sex, extreme violence and a great storyline.

Cherry said...

BTW - thanks to you I put some "Manly" movies at the top of our Netflix queue for my hubs. I suppose it's been a while since we didn't have a romantic comedy arrive in the little red envelope.

Autumn's Mom said...

Goodness, this totally made me laugh!!! You are a good hubby