I knew that marriage would change my life but whoa…I think I’ve seen more chick-flicks in the past eight months than the last ten years combined. I can’t even begin to remember the last time I saw a good act of senseless violence on the silver screen.
Here's my rundown of the some of the flicks my bride has forced me to watch, I mean, invited me to enjoy with her:
Enchanted: This movie features a vivacious redhead who spontaneously bursts into song the moment inspiration strikes. In other words, I paid $11 to watch a movie about my wife.
In the ensuing weeks, I endured countless moments of scrutiny regarding whether or not any of my freely offered kisses were “the kiss of true love.”
Rating: one chainsaw
27 Dresses: A film about every wedding but my own. A major testosterone reducer. I could feel the estrogen rising in the movie theater as the film’s opening credits appeared on the screen. 27 hours too long.
Rating: one chainsaw
Pride and Prejudice/Sense and Sensibility: These are listed together because I can’t remember which one I slept through and which one I saw in its entiretly.
Rating: 2 chainsaws (I can’t give Jane just one chainsaw, poor Jane needs an extra one to sell so she can live off the proceeds until the right wealthy suitor comes along).
(Dear God, please spare me from having to sit through the BBC version).
Definitely, Maybe: Two hours of watching a recently divorced man tell his nine year old daughter the story of how he slept around with, I mean, dated three women and finally chose her Mom.
Rating: one chainsaw
Bridget Jones Diary: I can’t remember what it was about. Something about a woman who falls in love.
Rating: no chainsaws
How long ‘til the new Indiana Jones movie is released?
